Memorial Day

This year was the first year (that I can remember) that I actually spent Memorial Day visiting the cemetery. I guess it's because I don't have a lot of close relatives that have died. Both of my grandpas are dead, most recently my dad's father a few years ago. I was so sad when he died. Although we knew he was getting older and he wouldn't be around that much longer, it didn't make things any easier when the time came for him to leave this earth. It was hard to lose my grandpas and I know as I get older, death is something that will inevitably happen more and more. I feel lucky to have not experienced a lot of death in my life so far, but sometimes I feel like it could strike again at any minute. And I get anxiety thinking about "what if". What if I lost my husband, the love of my life? What if one of my parents or siblings die? What if I lose a child? It's a reality for a lot of people, and I am so sad for them. I don't have my kids every day of the week so I just have to trust that they are safe, and that nothing bad will happen to them when they are away. I know they are in good hands, but I still worry. When we were at the cemetery visiting Darren's dad's grave, there were little kid graves right by his. I walked over to look at them, and just seeing those little lives that were lost completely broke my heart. One little girl I noticed was born just 3 months before Johnny. She is gone now. The reality of it all just hit me and I started crying. I had to go get in the car because I couldn't think about it anymore. Darren lost his dad Glade about 8 years ago. Sadly, death has happened a lot more in his life than mine. He goes and visits his dad's grave all the time. Although we know our spirits live on, I think it is important to visit the graves of our loved ones. It is humbling to go and look around at all of the headstones, the green grass, and beautiful flowers everywhere. It is so peaceful there. You wonder who that person was as you walk by each grave. And you know that person had a family and friends that miss them every day. We can't control when death happens, but we can always remember our loved ones, and know that we will see them again someday. 

We drove up to Cedar City, Utah to visit our grandparents' graves. My grandpa is buried in Parowan, so we met my family up there on Sunday. We stayed at a cute bed and breakfast in Cedar.

Darren's grandpa was part-owner of a Lunt Motor in Cedar. His grandpa was his hero. I wish I could have met him.

In front of his grandparents' graves in Cedar

This was at the cemetery in Las Vegas visiting his dad. I wish I could have met his dad as well. People tell me he was a nice guy with a great sense of humor. I wish I could tell him how much I love his son and that he did a great job raising him.

 You can see in the background a group of people all sitting around in lawn chairs in a circle. It was pretty neat to see that they all spent their day sharing memories and stories of their loved ones. We all have different ways of remembering our loved ones, but I know from now on Memorial Day to me is more than a day off of school and work to barbecue and swim, and I look forward to visiting the cemetery each year with my family.